Courtney (4) and Chloe (3)
Dean (21) and Ryan (19)
I have many friends, some married, living with a partner, male or female, some single, and a few always say “I will never have kids” I try and explain how it would change their life for the better, even if they have a good life. One friend (In-fact, my ex Brother in-Law) always said no kids, but is now a father and loves every second, his kid is nearly 2 or so now, changed his life in ways he can’t explain
I was a Father at 18, I got it right, 100% 18 years old I was, time makes you unsure of times and dates, Dawn was 16, we got a flat that was a cracking flat in a not bad area, it was rented and it was paid for by our parents for a while till we got on out feet, I was in and out of the jail at this time so nobody was going to buy us a house and let us pay them back, so I had to get my shit together, I remember when Dean was 2 and Ryan was just about to be born and I was sitting in a jail cell knowing I was getting home that day, and I sat crying and made a promise I would never see these unforgiving walls again, nor would I do what I had been doing, all I knew, many have read the story, I have 200 new followers or so since I did a guest blog for Mel here http://deliberatedonkey.wordpress.com/2013/07/02/murder-and-more-through-the-eyes-of-a-child/ In this blog I explain how I got to be sitting in a jail cell through a childhood that was horrific as it was good fun, I am not going to lie, having £50 in your pocket aged 12 was good, and at 12 years old you know now better, anyway…..
Being a Father so young no doubt saved my life, and the love of my partner helped, then Ryan came alone and we all lived happily ever after. I wasn’t there for the boys when they were babies, but I SURE made up for it when they were 4 and 2 years old, I started to play football with them, in the end I was the manager of both their School football teams, so I wasn’t making up for lost time, or making up for guilt, I was doing the right thing, in the end helping them in football led me to be this guy “Shaun the football guy” a REAL big deal for me for obvious reasons http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/06/08/the-football-story-i-never-told/
I had stopped being “Someone” and was known as “Shaun the football guy” and in that blog there are pictures of me and both my sons, we did it together, we never missed a game, Ryan was the football player, he played every Saturday and Sunday and Dean, Dawn (My Partner) and I did not miss one game when Dean played and then when Ryan started to play, what an experience being a Dad to two boys is, I could have said was, but it is still an experience, but for the best part of 12 years we never missed one of Ryan’s games, we would go and support, at the same time I was manager of teams myself, they would all come to my game also, it was a time when the 4 of us just were FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL and more football, we even went to big games in big stadiums, it was what we did, Dawn is a football coach also with Level 1 as she wanted to start a girls team, it worked out she still may be able to
Fast forward to 5 years ago and Dawn got pregnant after a few tries and Courtney was born, for the first time ever, with a 4 day old baby, Dawn couldn’t come to see her Son play football, it was the same day we (The team I ran at the time) could win the league, Dawn said to Ryan “Score some goals and win the league for your sister, he scored 3 in a 4-0 win and we won the league “That was a moment as a Father”
Ryan aged 15 scoring his 2nd goal to win the league for his team
We got home, the parents had all given me parcels, we were a tight bunch, the players for Fernieside and the parents with Dawn, Dean, and obviously Ryan the top striker and me as manager, again, moments, I cried when I got home, I saw my son, with my other son present, who cried also, score the goals to win is a BIG league title days after I was father to a Daughter, this is why you be a parent, not football, but moments, you can’t buy moments, you have to work for them. Courtney grew older, then Chloe came alone and a family of 4 became a family of 6 and you know, nothing really changed, we still have fun, we still do family things, we go for meals, we all go to the Zoo, whatever, both my Son’s have partners, Ryan’s Partner I love like a Daughter in Law already, they have been going out 3 years, so the family is no 7 strong, just in the house on an average day. These days the boys are out working, but at night the 4 of us, Dean, Ryan, Dawn and I, and sometimes Ryan’s Partner will sit and watch the football or a movie, and I smile because I am happy, the girls are asleep and we have fun. Then in the morning the girls get up and this is where the REAL fun happens, this morning I got up with them both at about 7am, but we did drawing, they wanted chocolate spread on toast and we sat and watched the Smurfs 2 and Dawn got a well deserved stay in bed, after all the day before she had spend hundreds of pounds on clothes for herself and the girls.
Don’t want to be a parent? I would not have it any other way
LIFE IS GOOD, I MAY BE IN PAIN, AGONY 24/7, BUT I AM ONE BLESSED MAN, WITH A LIFETIME OF MEMORIES ALREADY, AND I KNOW THERE IS MUCH, MUCH MORE TO COME
Parenthood is a thing we do that has no word, love, yeah, but the real word to describe being a tight, loving family, you know, I don’t have a word for, but if you have young kids, PLEASE, enjoy every second, every moment and treasure it as if it the last day you will have together, these moments are what define us as people and dictate how our lives go and in what direction we grow as Parents
More love, Less Hate